Once upon a time, in the ancient deserts of Arabia, lived a wandering merchant named Ali. One day in his travels, Ali happened upon, along the side of the road, a trunk, buried almost completely in the sand. After an hour of moving the sands, he was able to open the lid of the trunk to reveal its contents. He held his breath in anticipation, and discovered the trunk contained ... But a single, unadorned funerary urn.
Ali cursed his luck, but he resolved that, even the smallest treasure is treasure nonetheless, and took the urn with him. Later that night, he removed the urn from his wagon, and examined it to try and discern its origin. In the process, he began to polish it, and suddenly billowing smoke poured forth from the empty vessel's depths.
Ali jumped back, and the urn clattered to the ground without breaking. From within the smoke emerged a silhouette, which became steadily clearer as the clouds dissipated. "Praise Allah, I thought I would never be released from my confinement!" the figure bellowed, as he emerged, clad in fine silks and with a beard, long and white. "Thank you, sir, for your kind deed! I have been cursed and bound to this wretched urn, as a djinni might be, since the end of my mortal being. By what name may I know you, my lord, until my work for you is complete?"
Ali responded hesitantly. "Ali is my given name, but I confess confusion. I have heard tales of the mighty djinn, but never have I heard of such a being who was anything but hostile to man. And now, you before me, offer me service without explanation, without even introduction?"
The man bowed deeply. "I intended no confusion, friend Ali! I am but a humble being with a humble name; I am known as Benny, as no true djinni am I. I was once a mortal man such as yourself, but I was a man of hubris and pride. All my life I required those whom I should have cared for and loved to do as I bid and pleased, without regard for their happiness. Thusly I am cursed to remain here, tied to this mortal plane, until I can complete my assigned duties."
"How might your curse be broken?"
"In but one way: I must complete provide selfless gifts, of my own accord, to whoever should ask them of me, until my beard grows long enough to reach the ground. To this end, I have been granted greater powers than I ever possessed in my first life, with the cost that I may never use them for my own gain, but only for the benefit of he who might ask of me. This is the price I pay for the life I lived."
"Do you truly repent? You speak as though your curse were but a trifling inconvenience!"
"Ah, but as curses go, what a trifle it is! I have often wanted nothing more than some time to be alone and think, and I have had plenty of that, to be sure. But now that you have released me, I can complete my mission and continue on to the next life! What does your heart desire?"
Ali considered everything the strange man said. "Your claims are fantastical, but I find myself intrigued nonetheless. I wish I could be more certain that this stranger before me was, in fact, telling truths."
"Your merest wish is my command, Ali!" Benny pronounced, and then suddenly, with a jerk of his beard, a mewling arose from behind him. Benny stepped aside to reveal that Ali's wagon had been transformed into a kitten!
"What have you done! Now I will need to purchase a new wagon!" cried Ali.
"Only what you have requested of me, friend. I have proven myself to you, as you wished." And as Benny grinned at Ali, his beard grew inches longer. "And you see, this part is true also -- before long, I will be freed of my curse!"
The next morning, Ali resolved to have Bennie make amends. "Since you have cost me my livelihood, I will require a new one. I wish to be a spice merchant, with wagons laden with exotic and valuable spices from the ends of the earth."
"Of course, friend Ali! Your merest wish is my command!" And with another tug of his beard, a great caravan, filled with every spice known to man and more, appeared from the desert sands. Ali exclaimed with excitement and set off, leading the caravan behind him, with Bennie dashing to catch up, his beard trailing ever longer behind him.
Not an hour later, however, bandits set upon the lavish caravan, intent on pillaging all of value. "Bennie, Bennie! Why are there no guards for this wealth?"
"'Friend' Ali, mighty though I may be, I cannot create man from whence man was not. And as to why I did not relate this to you previously, well... to be quite honest, I find this result much more to my amusement!" Benny laughed, and laughed, as the bandit made off with cask after cask of merchandise.
Ali was incensed. "Well then, 'friend' Bennie, I will have to solve this single-handedly! And to that end, I wish for a mighty blade, with the sharpest edge man can craft, fine enough to cut even hair without pause."
"Your merest wish is my command!" Bennie chortled, and tugged his flowing beard once more, and suddenly, in Ali's hand, there appeared a gleaming blade, as requested: the finest razor Ali had ever seen.
Ali stared at the razor, bewildered, as the bandits left with the last of the last of the goods from the caravan. Bennie broke into unbridled laughter, nearly falling to the ground with amusement. Enraged, Ali screamed and leapt towards Bennie with the razor clenched in his fist. Bennie cried out and covered his eyes, but Ali instead dealt an even more devious blow -- he reached out and with a single stroke, shaved off Bennie's magical beard.
"No!" Bennie exclaimed, and suddenly a great wind kicked up. Bennie was dragged by the tempest back towards the plain, unadorned urn, laying in the sand, overlooked by the opportunistic bandits. "You have doomed me to ever longer servitude, you monster!" And with that, the clean-shaven man was again contained.
The moral of the story?
"A Bennie shaved is a Bennie urned."
