The Fat Witch was busy eating, when suddenly the door to her palace opened. But wait, actually this is the first time she appeared for some reason, so some exposition is in order.
The Fat Witch was, as her name implies, fat. But that word alone could never describe the enormous, vast, gigantic, monstrous amounts of flesh that clung to her body. She spent the better part of her life eating, and even prided herself with the fact that she kept a strict diet of 100,000 calories per day. A doctor had once told her that this wasn't very healthy, but she had solved the problem by eating him right at the spot. She was also the reason why Blarnia was covered in snow; she had changed the weather so that she wouldn't sweat as much.
Now, most people would not find this woman attractive, she looked more like a gigantic piece of mayonnaise than anything human, but Ed liked her – or, at least, used to like her. But he did read the book, and sexual disappointments often have devastating effects on young teenagers.
“Who are you?” The fat witch barked, visibly aggravated that someone would disturb her while she was eating.
“I am Ed,” said Ed, “and your palace guards suck. Anyway, you might not know me because your many chins don't allow you to read, but I am your doom. And now, with the power granted to me by the almighty lector, I will force you to fight me until one of us is defeated."
The Fat Witch blinked, but then she just shrugged and picked up her massive fork.
“Sure, it's just about time for a dessert.” She checked that the batteries in her wand were fully charged, then she fluttered it slightly to make her throne levitate towards Ed. “I just need to get my salt shaker...”
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