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Author Topic: JSH's Art Rankings  (Read 49057 times)

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GeoLib

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #150 on: October 12, 2014, 04:00:35 pm »
+1

Does it seem to anyone else that the dude on the right in Journeyman is missing half of his left arm? It also kind of looks like he's a monopod.

Aha! I just looked up the high res picture. His stump arm is actually his backpack! Also the colors are pretty different: the weird misty gas looks a lot more like fog in this one.

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jsh357

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #151 on: October 12, 2014, 04:04:00 pm »
0

That mist DOES look a lot better.  Weird that the other color made the actual card art.  Maybe there was just some restriction on the usable colors.
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pingpongsam

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #152 on: October 13, 2014, 09:14:31 am »
0

Even in the high res version that guy looks like he is missing a hand and has a gnarled peg leg all the way up to his hip.
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pingpongsam

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #153 on: October 13, 2014, 09:15:15 am »
+1

Also the other guy looks like he could be the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz 20 years later.
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theory

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #154 on: October 13, 2014, 09:52:18 am »
+1

I mostly feel bad for the Pawn dude.  From the heir of Isildur and King of Gondor to this?
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Polk5440

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #155 on: October 13, 2014, 10:47:56 am »
0

There is nothing wrong with Pawn. He has his foot up on a box or stool or chair or something and is resting his hand on his knee -- not his stomach.
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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #156 on: October 13, 2014, 11:08:38 am »
0

I mostly feel bad for the Pawn dude.  From the heir of Isildur and King of Gondor to this?

I thought the same thing.  The resemblance is definitely there.
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jsh357

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #157 on: October 29, 2014, 01:11:31 am »
+14


149. Spy
The Spy looked out over the small, decaying town.  A gargoyle rested beneath his feet, glowering at the sunset.  "What's he looking at," the stone beast wondered.  It didn't matter, though.  The shady man had come with a specific purpose that day: to infiltrate the abode of the tardy art critic.  His mission had been passed on by the enraged forumites, all of whom had recently learned the critic was hiding secrets as well.  With daggers tucked away and a scroll to use as a distraction, he waited solemnly.  It hit the Spy after a couple of hours that he was afraid of heights.  Why had he climbed all the way up on to the roof anyway?  Well, he could take solace in the fact that he looked pretty cool while doing it.   
148. Gardens
On the opposite side of the building in which the Spy had waited, the critic spent his evening relaxing in the Gardens and not writing art critiques.  "What's the point," he murmured.  "I'm just going to have to do it all over again when the new set comes out."  He gazed at his surroundings, wondering what it was that made him rank the place so highly in his estimation initially.  Perhaps he'd partaken of too many herbs from the multitude of unshaded plants around him.  Or perhaps he'd merely liked the scenery, questionable layout be darned.  He closed his Nintendo 3DS and wandered indoors, realizing he'd forgotten to complete an important chore. 
147. Treasury
As he creaked open the door to the Treasury, the young critic was taken aback.  He'd merely come to see if he'd been awarded more forum respect, but was surprised to see a money pool towering throughout the room.  He dashed in to the room, frantically searching for some explanation.  Suddenly, a man leapt out of the center of the pool and flipped three times in the air.  "Making fun of my game's art, huh?" The man sent a raspberry in the critic's direction.  "Well, take a look at my earnings from the Dominion: Gunpoweder lawsuit."  The critic tried to warn his guest of the danger, but it was too late.  He fell head first onto a block of coins, blacking out immediately.
146. Venture

The critic dragged the injured game designer through the gates, past where the Spy had fallen asleep on watch, and toward a nearby palace. Into the throne room he Ventured, approaching the bored-looking ruler.  The critic knelt.  "Sire, please grant me some coin so that I may grant this poor man the finest of health care available in these lands," he begged.  The king grinned, then pulled a string above his head.  A terrifying hole opened beneath the two visitors, and down they fell.
145. Band of Misfits

A pack of Misfits met the critic's eyes as he awoke groggily.  His patient was nowhere to be seen, and he feared what these men might do to him.  "We be the Misfits three," the grisliest one in the center cackled.  "Dragged ye two out into the woods, we did.  Ye'll make us a fine coin on the Black Market."  Unfortunately for them, the critic had heard of these fools.  He held aloft his trusty Scout card, and the Misfits shrieked in terror, their bones warping and melting to transform them in to the likeness of the poor guy.  All they could do was count the Victory cards in their hands as the critic ran off into the distance.

144. Forager

Soon enough, the critic collided with an old Forager, knocking her basket of apples on the ground.  "Watch where you're running, boy," she roared with a hideous rasp.  Seeing the boy's terrified face and bruises all over, she decided to lighten up a bit.  "I'll tell you what.  Give me a good ranking, say a good multiple of 12, and I'll let you have this apple."  He agreed to the woman's request, happy to feel the thick texture of the fruit upon his tongue.
143. Stash
Suddenly, the mysterious game designer arrived at the scene, holding a big bag of cash that one might even call a Stash.  "Just look, man, I'm rolling in it so deep I can afford to buy all of this lady's fruit."  He made the purchase, then picked out a few rotten apples and hurled them at the critic.  Flabbergasted, the critic asked why he'd been assaulted in such a rude manner.  "That's for inserting me in your terrible self-insert fanfiction."  Well, nobody could argue with that one.
 
142. Workshop

Beaten and stinking, the critic returned home and decided to finish putting together some write-ups in the Workshop.  He admired the detail of the room: a protractor, various saws, a hammer, and a fine ink quill.  Something seemed a little off, though.  In the corner of the room, he swore he saw a terrifying long-haired demon hanging on the wall.  No, really, what is that, a wig?  And how is this ranked so high?  Nobody knows.
141. Farmland
After falling asleep in the Workshop, he dreamed of a strange farm made up of perfectly-formed rows of plants.  The dedication that these Farmlands must have been plowed with was staggering, especially considering the lack of power tools.  Truly, such a beauteous place could only exist in his slumber.
140. Wharf
"And then, I told them it had something to do with Blue Dogs!"  The two men chuckled, enjoying their last moments of one another's company.  Their meeting had gotten off to a rocky start, but truly the two had become pals over the course of their misadventure.  Unfortunately, it was time for the grizzled game designer to leave this terrible place.  As he began walking toward the ship in the Wharf, he turned back to his art critic to bestow one last word of wisdom.  "Look, hear me out.  I know some of the art isn't the best, and I know nobody agrees with any of your rankings.  Even you don't all the time."  The critic smirked.  "But man, you can't just start something and then never finish it.  You know what the difference is between guys like you and guys like me?  At some point, we finished what we were doing."  A lone tear began to fall down the critic's face at the man's words.  "Now hurry up and finish this stupid thread so we can all go home!"

As he turned and left the Wharf, the critic took a moment to admire its beauty.  A long path had been traveled since he first dissed the Candlestick Maker.  The ship in the wharf looked majestic; the colors of the evening sky shone radiantly.  With an image this lovely to gaze upon, and 139 more to go, he knew that only good things awaited him. 

2 Cards suddenly thwacked the critic in the back of the head.  He turned to see the ship departing, the designer waving at him.  "For real!  #174?  What are you, blind?  I'm out of here."
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eHalcyon

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #158 on: October 29, 2014, 02:47:47 am »
+1

Man, this Critic character sure seems like a massive Mary Sue.
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pedroluchini

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #159 on: October 29, 2014, 04:21:00 am »
+1

141. Farmland
After falling asleep in the Workshop, he dreamed of a strange farm made up of perfectly-formed rows of plants.  The dedication that these Farmlands must have been plowed with was staggering, especially considering the lack of power tools.  Truly, such a beauteous place could only exist in his slumber.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrace_(agriculture)
« Last Edit: October 29, 2014, 08:45:12 am by pedroluchini »
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A Drowned Kernel

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #160 on: October 29, 2014, 10:18:38 am »
+7

The Forager doesn't look that old to me. And I've always loved how bored the guy in Venture looks. He's all like, "Yeah, sure, whatever. Go on your Venture. I guess."
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KingZog3

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #161 on: October 29, 2014, 11:32:41 am »
0

The Forager doesn't look that old to me. And I've always loved how bored the guy in Venture looks. He's all like, "Yeah, sure, whatever. Go on your Venture. I guess."

He's bored because he's wealthy from all his venturing.
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pacovf

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #162 on: October 29, 2014, 01:23:17 pm »
+5

Too much plot, too little critiquin'!

Does everybody see a woman when they look at forager? I thought it was a man.
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Rubby

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #163 on: October 29, 2014, 01:55:59 pm »
0

Too much plot, too little critiquin'!

Does everybody see a woman when they look at forager? I thought it was a man.

Agree on preferring art commentary to shtick, and also on thinking the Forager was a dude.
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jsh357

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #164 on: October 29, 2014, 02:27:13 pm »
0

The gimmicks will be at a minimum after this point; the 'middle' cards are a little dull to go over on their own.

I have NEVER seen the Forager as a dude. 
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Polk5440

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #165 on: October 29, 2014, 02:30:08 pm »
+3

I can't belief Wharf is so far down this list! I think the art is just as impressive as its ability.
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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #166 on: October 29, 2014, 02:31:47 pm »
0

I can't belief KC is so far down this list! I think the art is just as impressive as its ability.

indeed.

when i look at wharf, I just see this immense strength. the art doesn't even matter. This orange glow just screams "OP CARD BUY ME"
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pacovf

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #167 on: October 29, 2014, 02:44:08 pm »
+1

The gimmicks will be at a minimum after this point; the 'middle' cards are a little dull to go over on their own.

I have NEVER seen the Forager as a dude.

Gimmicks are cool, but not when you don't talk about the card art itself!

Keep up the good work! You can do this!
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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #168 on: October 29, 2014, 04:07:44 pm »
+1

yeah, forager is a girl.  And I love the gimmicks.  Following the plot from spy to wharf was fantastic.
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Awaclus

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #169 on: October 29, 2014, 04:33:39 pm »
0

Yeah, Wharf is one of the best arts IMO.
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Rubby

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #170 on: October 29, 2014, 04:51:45 pm »
+2

yeah, forager is a girl.  And I love the gimmicks.  Following the plot from spy to wharf was fantastic.

I believe you, and appreciate when card art features women - especially on cards like Forge where it's not an obvious choice.

Also, didn't mean to discourage JSH from being his entertaining self - just don't want the gimmicks to get in the way of the art commentary. We live for the art commentary!
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Eran of Arcadia

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #171 on: October 29, 2014, 08:17:35 pm »
+3

By my estimation, the only card to pass the Bechdel Test is Trader.

That should give it a couple of points.
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Awaclus

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #172 on: October 29, 2014, 08:56:36 pm »
+4

By my estimation, the only card to pass the Bechdel Test is Trader.

That should give it a couple of points.

How do you know that they're not talking about a man? "That Scout doesn't seem very competent, I think you should have a Silver instead."
« Last Edit: October 29, 2014, 08:57:52 pm by Awaclus »
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Eran of Arcadia

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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #173 on: October 29, 2014, 09:09:18 pm »
+1

How do you know that they're not talking about a man? "That Scout doesn't seem very competent, I think you should have a Silver instead."

Well, I figured the Dominion-equivalent was just that there were multiple women and no men on the card.
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Re: JSH's Art Rankings
« Reply #174 on: October 29, 2014, 09:48:49 pm »
0

How do you know that they're not talking about a man? "That Scout doesn't seem very competent, I think you should have a Silver instead."

Well, I figured the Dominion-equivalent was just that there were multiple women and no men on the card.
I assume you're excluding Harem for obvious reasons then?

Also, what is with the right-most misfit in the Band of Misfits? That can't be comfortable.
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