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[A Drowned Kernel]

Tunneling Chancellor
$3- Action

+$2

Reveal every card in your deck, discarding them all.

-

Edareuqsam
$3- Action

You may trash a card from your hand. Each player passes a card from his hand at once to the player to his right. +2 cards.

[wrathofmine]

Pirate Chancellor
$5 - Action

+2$
I you put your deck in your discard, take a chancellor token. If you choose not to discard, gain a stash for each token you've taken with Pirate Chancellor this game.

[popsofctown]

I wasn't sure whether to post this in the worst cards thread or submit it to an applicable mini-set design challenge.  Then I realized it wouldn't be permitted, since it was my little cousin John's idea after he had been seasoned with two games of Dominion, and not my idea.

John
6$ Action-Attack
Each other player gains a Curse.  You gain a Moat.

[ConMan]

Master of None $4
Gain a Curse.
You may look at the top card of your discard pile and either discard it or put it back.
Discard down to five cards in hand.
You may trash a card from your hand that isn't a card.

[Young Nick]

Menagerie
+1 action

Reveal the brands of all articles of clothing you are wearing. If there are no duplicate brands, +3 cards.
Otherwise, +1 card.

Scheme: return one action to the top of your deck or one article of clothing to your body.

Tactician: Remove all clothes. At the start of your next turn, put all your clothes back on, and put on an additional pair of sweat pants, and a winter coat.

Royal Seal: When you gain a card while this is play, you may choose to put it on top of your deck
OR you may place an article of clothing on top of your dick.

There is some gem hidden in Envoy that I can't quite figure out, hmm.

I bet Governor could use a fourth option involving stripping, too.

[Morgrim7]

Envoy
Take off four articles of clothing. The player to your left chooses one for you to discard. Put the rest back on in any order you choose.

[jotheonah]

these are pretty great. I'm imagining the scenario where you actually get a girl to play this and she's like "Winter coat? WTF?"

Also, "any order you choose" is priceless.

[Wolphmaniac]

Chuck Norris
$12 Action
You immediately win the game.
You cannot buy this card.
You cannot gain this card by using an Action card.

Fun (simple) Puzzle: How do you get Chuck Norris?

Someone already mentioned Horn of Plenty.  Another way you can get Chuck Norris would be if your opponent, holding a Masquerade/Ambassador and a Chuck Norris, plays the Masquerade/Ambassador and effectively hands you a Chuck Norris rather than simply playing his Chuck Norris for the win.  (YOU have not used an action card in this sequence, so it works.)  Of course, only Chuck Norris himself would be amazing enough to do this and still win, hence the perfect name for the card. 

(Actually, it's quite conceivable that a player could pass off a Chuck Norris and win, provided they could end the game on that turn.  Considering that the player has already worked a $12 Horn of Plenty to get the Chuck Norris, this player is obviously in great shape.  Masquerading a Chuck Norris into the opponent's hand and then ending the game would be a great showboating move, a la Masquerading/Ambassadoring a Province or Colony to your opponent and then winning on that turn anyways.) 

[eHalcyon]

Masquerading/Ambassadoring a Province or Colony to your opponent and then winning on that turn anyways.) 

Sometimes you NEED to do that to win.

[Jfrisch]

Name to be determined.
+1 action
reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.
put the revealed victory cards into your hand
put the other cards on top of your deck, in any order.

[ChocophileBenj]

-Lost adventurer-
Reveal cards from top of your deck until you reveal two treasures cards. Discard those cards, and put back the other revealed cards on your deck in either order

-Moneylauncher-
Trash a treasure card from your hand.
If you do, +$10

-Classic idea-
Choose an action card from your hand. Draw one card from each +$ it generates, +1 action for each card you should have drawn instead, +1 buy for each +1 action, +$1 for each +buy on it.

-Post Trading-
Gain a silver, put it in your hand. Trash two cards from your hand.

-Ante Trading-
Gain 2 coppers in your hand. Trash one card from your hand.

[RiemannZetaJones]

-High-Frequency Trader-
When you gain a card, you may reveal this. If you do, trash that card and gain a silver.

[zahlman]

-High-Frequency Trader-
When you gain a card, you may reveal this. If you do, trash that card and gain a silver.

So you can immediately run out the Silver pile AND the Blue Dog pile. I like it.

---

Feodee - Victory - $0
Worth -1VP for every three Silvers in your deck.
When you gain this, trash three Silvers from your hand.

[Jfrisch]

Invincible Rats-Action-4$
+1 card, +1 action
Trash a card from your hand other than an Invincible Rats (or reveal a hand of all Invincible Rats)
---------
this card may not be trashed

[Drab Emordnilap]

Invincible Rats-Action-4$
+1 card, +1 action
Trash a card from your hand other than an Invincible Rats (or reveal a hand of all Invincible Rats)
---------
this card may not be trashed

---------
When you trash this card, gain an Invincible Rats from the trash.

[Grujah]

Invincible Rats-Action-4$
+1 card, +1 action
Trash a card from your hand other than an Invincible Rats (or reveal a hand of all Invincible Rats)
---------
this card may not be trashed

---------
When you trash this card, gain an two Invincible Ratses from the trash.

FTFY.

[zahlman]

Ratses

We hates them, don't we precious?

[Tombolo]

My Trusty Pony
$0* Action- Prize
Choose 3:
-+1 Card
-+1 Action
-+$1
-Gain two Silvers and put your social status into your discard pile.

[NoMoreFun]

Jack of All Treasures
Cost: $5
Worth $3
+1 buy
When you play this, you may discard or trash a treasure from your hand, If you don't, trash this card.
Reveal cards from your deck until you reveal a treasure. Put it on top of your deck, and discard the other revealed cards
---
While this is in play, when you buy:
An action: Reduce its cost by $2
A treasure: Put it on top of your deck
A victory card: Gain a silver
---
When you gain this, put it on top of your deck. Each player gains a copper, putting it in their hand.

[NoMoreFun]

React of All Trades:

When you gain a card, you may reveal this. If you do, instead, gain a copper, putting it in top of your deck

When you're attacked, you may reveal this. If you do, +1 card, put a card from your hand on top of your deck. You may set aside this and another card from your hand. Restore them to your hand at the start of your next turn.

When you gain a victory card, you may trash this card.
When you trash this, gain 2 silvers

[jotheonah]

I think a 6-cost pure reaction that just reacts differently to every possible thing would be a fascinating design space.  That should be one for the contest.

[NoMoreFun]

Jack of all Durations:
Discard down to 3 cards in hand
At the start of your next turn: +1 card, +$1, +1 action, +1 buy

[NoMoreFun]

Crats of Walled Traders:
+1 Action
+1 Buy
Trash 2 cards from your hand. Gain a silver and a Crats of All Traders, putting them on top of your deck.
---
When you're attacked, you may gain a silver and set it aside with this card. Restore them to your hand at the beginning of your next turn.

[zahlman]

Two of All Trades - Action/Duration/Reaction/Treasure

If played as an action:

+1 Card
+1 Action

You may put a card from your hand on top of your deck. If you do, choose one: +1 Card, +1 Action, +1 Buy, +$1. You may trash a card from your hand. You may discard a hand from your hand. If you do, +$1. You may trash this card. If you do, +$1, and put an Embargo token on the Two of All Trades pile. Set aside a card from your hand face up. At the start of your next turn, choose one: +$1 and discard the set-aside card; or put the set-aside card into your hand. Choose one: set aside a Two of All Trades from your hand on your Two of All Trades mat; or put all the cards from the mat into your hand. Look at the bottom card of your deck. You may discard it. When you discard this from play, you may put a Copper from play on top of your deck. You may discard your hand. If you do, +1 Action, +1 Buy. Reveal your hand. If this is the first time you have played Two of All Trades this turn, +1 Action. Each player (including you) looks at the top card of his deck, and puts it back.

--

If played as a treasure:
If you played Two of All Trades during your Action phase, this is worth $3. Otherwise it is worth $0.

--

When another player plays an Attack card, you may reveal this and another Two of All Trades from your hand. If you do, draw a card, put a card from your hand on top of your deck, and you are unaffected by the attack.

When another player plays an Attack card, if you have two Two of All Trades cards in play, the attack doesn't affect you.

When another player gains a Province, you may trash this from your hand. If you do, gain a Silver, putting it on your deck.

Setup: when Two of All Trades is in the Kingdom, add Embargo and Jack of All Trades to the Kingdom. In games using this, when you gain a Jack of All Trades, you may gain a Two of All Trades.

[ChocophileBenj]

I'm already sorry if you feel hurt, this is just a joke so please don't beat me !!!

-CopperphileBenj-
Action, cost $2
+1 card, +1 action
You may gain a copper

-Chocosayer-
Action, cost $4
Discard 2 cards
Each other player gains a Chocosayer card, putting it on his Chocosayer Mat.
---
In games using this, during your buy phase, you may pay an extra $1 per card you have on your Chocosayer mat. If you don't, put those cards on top of your deck. Put in them in your deck at the end of the game.

-Steam house-
Victory, cost $4
Worth 2 VPs.
--------
When you gain this, discard 2 cards.

-Banal-
Victory, cost $3*
If the Province pile is empty, this is worth 6 VP. Otherwise, this is worth -1 VP.
--------
This costs $3 more per empty pile.
(a not so bad idea )

-Horror Museum-
Victory, cost $5
Worth 1 VP for every set of Estate, Duchy and Province in your deck.

-Physics, the Gathering-
Action, cost $5.
Name two cards. Reveal cards from your deck until you reveal two cards that you named. Put all the revealed cards into your hand.

-Garry Soon-
Action attack, cost $5
+3 cards
Each other player puts one card back on his deck.

-CopperphileBenj is back-
Action, cost $3
Choose one :
Trash a card from your hand. Gain up to one copper per $1 in its cost OR discard any number of coppers from your hand, and gain a card costing exactly $1 per copper discarded.

-Parasital Village-
Action, cost $4
+2 actions, discard down to 3 cards in hand.

-Brian's Amulet-
Action, cost $5
+1 Action
Each other player may trash a card from his hand. If anyone does, +$3. If no one does, you may trash a card from your hand, +$2 if you do.