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[O]

First Turn Advantage
$1 Treasure-Victory
$1
1 VP
When you buy this, the game ends.

Unfortunately, if first player bought this turn one, he would actually lose as the game would end before he gained the card, and thus would lose on the tie breaker

What happens on turn three when you reveal a trader?

[Deadlock39]

Well... the gain never happens, so you can't reveal Trader.

It would be pretty hilarious to play with this I think.  Better open Estate/Estate... The first player to miss an Estate buy loses, or if you manage to run out the pile you have to work up to Duchies as fast as you can.  Of course, the 5/2 start is unbeatable with it's Duchy/First Turn Advantage opening.

[dondon151]

Unless, of course, the opposing player also opens 5/2.

[WanderingWinder]

One assumes player 2 may well take his option to end the game with a tie on turn 1, or any subsequent turn...

[jonts26]

In which case player 1 has to open estate (or duchy). And that means player 2 has to match him. So the game continues until someone draws 4 green cards, or someone lucks into a duchy.

[Deadlock39]

Well yeah, my point was supposed to be that a 5/2 start is unbeatable regardless of which player got it (if the other player does not).  Player 2 can't end the game on turn 1 with a tie if player 1 opens with an Estate.  I guess that is the part that I found humorous.  With this card on the board, the optimal option is to immediately buy VP cards.  As soon as you don't, or fail to match your opponent's buy, the game is lost.

[Axxle]

Well yeah, my point was supposed to be that a 5/2 start is unbeatable regardless of which player got it (if the other player does not).  Player 2 can't end the game on turn 1 with a tie if player 1 opens with an Estate.  I guess that is the part that I found humorous.  With this card on the board, the optimal option is to immediately buy VP cards.  As soon as you don't, or fail to match your opponent's buy, the game is lost.

I wonder what would happen in a multiplayer game of this!

[jotheonah]

Spice Merchant Ship
Action-Duration $5

You may trash a Treasure from your hand. If you do, choose one:
+2 Cards and +1 Action;
or, now and at the start of your next turn, $2 and +1 Buy.


King's Courtyard
Action $9
You may choose an Action card in your hand. Play it three times, then put it back on top of your deck.

[jotheonah]

Bank Teller
Action $7

When you play this, it’s worth $1 per money-producing action card you have in play. (counting this). Each other player reveals cards from the top of his deck until he reveals a Victory or Curse card. He puts it on top and discards the other revealed cards.

Coppersmithy
Action $6

Draw three cards. Copper produces an extra $1 this turn.

[Cheese]

Famine
Action $4

Trash this card. Gain a card costing up to $3.

[Glooble]

Fast
Action $4

Trash this card. Gain nothing.

[petrie911]

Horse Trader

+1 Buy
+$3

Trash a card from your hand.  Gain Silvers equal to its cost in coins.
---
Whenever a player plays an attack card, you may reveal this card from your hand.  If you do, gain a Silver instead.

[sitnaltax]

Fast
Action $4

Trash this card. Gain nothing.

But you can play it as a fast effect.

[dysprog]

Porcelain Throne Room
Action $1
Choose an Action card in your hand. Play it Once.

[RiemannZetaJones]

Porcelain Throne Room
Action $1
Choose an Action card in your hand. Play it Once.

Other than generally being useful in games where you want to collect or play more actions or cards, this would be useful with KC/TR since e.g. KC - Porcelain Throne Room is the same as +3 actions.

[Ozle]

Plague
$2
You may burn this card. If you do, trash any number of curses from your hand and deck.
All other players gain a copy of Plague

[brokoli]

Inn-Gotten gains
$5 -Action - Treasure
+2 Actions
+2 Cards
Discard 2 cards.
If used as a treasure :
+$1, You may gain a copper, putting it in your hand
---------------------------------------------------------
When you gain this, look through your opponent's discard pile, reveal any number of victory and/or curses cards from it, and shuffle them into his deck.

[Mister Alex]

M. Night Shyalaman's Village
$3 - Action

+1 Card
+2 Actions
If you are ending the game this turn, you may trash this card. 
If you do, all players pass their entire deck to the right.
What a twist!

[Glooble]

Hoard of Plenty
Treasure - $6
Worth $1
Gain a card costing up to one for each differently named action card you have in play. If you gain a Victory card, trash this card and gain a Gold.

[jotheonah]

Bag of Fool's Gold
$0*
Action - Prize
+1 Action
Gain a Fool's Gold, putting it on top of your deck.
____________
This card is not in the supply.
When you play a game with both Tournament and Fool's Gold, add this to the Prize pile.
What's that, you don't own both Hinterlands and Cornucopia? Well, sucks to be you.

[kamikazepig]

I just joined and got an account simply to comment on this thread. It is hilarious, and now I am going to spend all the time I should be learning how to play Dominion (I learned how to play on Saturday and am now hooked/have played 90-odd games on isotropic) coming up with fake cards, when I already spend all the time I should be sleeping or working trying to improve at Dominion.

Which now means I'm going to be spending all my time making up fake cards. Like...

Dookie
- $7
Gain an Island (Welcome to Paradise!)
Place a curse token on any pile that allows searching through the deck...Counting House, Hunting Party, etc. but also, at the end of this turn after all actions and buys and such, discard your entire deck and, instead of reshuffling, organize the cards exactly how you want to (No time to search the world around, cause you know where your cards will be found...when they come around)
You may masturbate. If you do, gain +2 Actions. If you don't, -1 Action and -2$. If this was your last action, an extra penalty of -4$. If that puts you below $0, trash Dookie. (When masturbation's lost its fun, you're ****in' lazy)
Gain a Curse ("sometimes I give myself the creeps")

Many years later, become an investment banker so your friends can claim you sold out.

[Ozle]

Jack of Clubs


Thats it, no text, just a random pile of 10 Jack of clubs from a deck of cards.

[kamikazepig]

Mint Chocolate Chip
- $3
Trash all your other ice cream cards. Gain another Mint Chocolate Chip.

Coppersmithy
- $6
+3 Cards, and all Coppers are increased by +1.

(above, sorry jtotheonah, didn't see you'd already done this)

The Midas Touch
- $12
Replace every card in your hand with Gold.

Iron Throne Room
- $6
Gain two cards up to $4. Be killed by Jaime Lannister.

Watch The Throne Room
- $Ball So Hard
Order a fish filet. Twice.

I Just Can't Wait To Be King's Court.
- $7
Gain a King's Court, putting it into your hand, even if there are no King's Courts in the game.

Young Money
- $4
+2 Cards
Discard 2 cards. Gain a Silver. Release rap album.

Menage A Trois
- $9
Reveal your hand. If there are no duplicate cards in it, +9 Cards. Otherwise, +3 Cards.

Bank Teller
- $8
+$2
Each other player reveals cards from the top of his deck until he reveals a Victory or Curse card. He puts it on top and discards the other revealed cards.
When you play this, it’s worth $1 per Treasure card you have in play (counting this).

(above, sorry jtotheonah, didn't see you'd already done this)

Chamber of Secrets
- $3
Discard any number of cards. +1$ per card discarded. When another player plays an Attack card, you may reveal this and a Basilisk from your hand. If you do, that player is killed instantly.

The Greatest Song In The World
- $6
Gain A Tribute (even if they are not in play).
Each other player gains a curse.

The Bridges Karamazov
- $6
+1 Buy and +1$ for each sibling you have. All cards cost $1 less this turn, or $2 less if you killed your father.

Robber Baron
- $6
+1 Buy
You may discard an Estate card. If you do, +$4.  Otherwise, gain an Estate card.
You may ask every other player for a card costing between $3 and $5. If they have it in their hand, they must give it to you. Shuffle it into your deck.

Steward Of Gondor
- $3
Choose one: +2 Cards; or +$2; or trash 2 cards from your hand; or be deposed by your long-lost King and his invincible army of ghosts.

Highway To Hell
- $7
+1 Card; +1 Action
—
While this is in play, cards cost $1 less, but not less than $0.
Each other player gains a curse.

Bizarre
-$6
+1 Fish, +Can Opener Winepurse, +2 Yes?
You may or may not gain control of the Chinese mainland.
Trash this card if you dare.

Possession With Intent To Distribute
- $8
Pick an opponent, plant cocaine on him, and anonymously call the police.

Dora The Explorer
-$5
You may reveal a Province card from your hand. If you do, gain a Gold card, putting it into your hand. Otherwise, gain a Silver card, putting it into your hand.
Shoot yourself in the face.

Governator
-$7
+1 Action, +$2
If you’ve played 3 or more Actions this turn (counting this): +1 Card; +1 Action.
Choose one; you get the version in parentheses: +1 (+3) Cards; or each player gains a Silver (Gold); or each player may trash a card from his hand and gain a card costing exactly $1 ($2) more.
Shout I'LL BE BACK, and return Governator to the top of your deck.

Martha's Vineyard
-$5
Worth 1 Victory point for every cookbook you own, +2 Victory Points for every arrest in your past.

Smeagol
-$3 plus potion
Reveal cards from your deck until you find a Golem. Play the Golem. Talk to yourself until you go insane.

Ghetto University
-$1 plus potion
+1 Action
You may gain an Action card up to $4.
If played with a Watch The Throne Card, interrupt the next player's turn to gain a card of your choice, whichever is best.

Ok, that's enough for now I think.

[Voltgloss]

Underpromote
$3 Action
+1 Action
Trash a Pawn from play.  If you do, gain a Bishop, putting it into your hand.

Will No One Rid Me Of This Troublesome Priest
$2 Action
Reveal cards from your deck until you reveal four Minions.  If you do, each other player reveals cards from their deck until they reveal a Bishop.  All Bishops revealed by other players are trashed.  All other revealed cards are discarded.

Pocket Full of Rye
$6 Action
Reveal your hand.  If you have exactly six Coppers and no other cards, gain a King's Court, a Counting House, and a Gardens, putting them on top of your deck.

[jonts26]

Nim

$2 Victory
If this was the last Nim in the supply worth 1000VP, otherwise 0VP.
-------
When you gain this card, you may gain up to two more Nim cards.