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Author Topic: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines  (Read 62370 times)

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SirPeebles

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2014, 04:02:45 pm »
+1

Public service announcement.

This one deserves to be reposted because it's that good:

Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

(from Jorbles, or apparently his girlfriend, who apparently must be cool)

My favorite is still Captain Frisk's original.  Possibly because it was so unexpected.
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Witherweaver

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #26 on: March 14, 2014, 04:04:23 pm »
0

Public service announcement.

This one deserves to be reposted because it's that good:

Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

(from Jorbles, or apparently his girlfriend, who apparently must be cool)

My favorite is still Captain Frisk's original.  Possibly because it was so unexpected.

He was ahead of his time.
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markusin

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #27 on: March 14, 2014, 04:23:01 pm »
+3

You're all the treasure I need, honey.
With you in my bank, I can afford a Colony.
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #28 on: March 14, 2014, 07:37:02 pm »
+3



Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

Yo mamma is so fat, that if she played a Tournament it'd take ALL the provinces in her deck to win it.
Yo mamma is so fat, that even a Minion couldn't discard her hand.
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DG

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2014, 08:21:42 pm »
+5

If you count on me Duchess, our relationship will develop until we have a procession to the altar at the village chapel.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2014, 09:49:03 am by DG »
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michaeljb

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #30 on: March 17, 2014, 03:50:59 pm »
+17

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Scout.
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SanChristo

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #31 on: March 20, 2014, 08:56:20 am »
+12

Pick-up lines
Hey baby, come with me. I can Upgrade your Great Hall to a Garden... nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Mountebank? Sure, I'll mount a bank.

Baby, you must be a Marauder. After we play, you're Spoiled, and I'm Ruined.

Sweet thing, I'm like Rats. I like to multiply.

Girl, I'm like a Cultist. You can play me again and again and again and again.

Lady, I'm like Sir Martin. Not as cool as the rest. But cheaper.

Puns

Squire, you're like a freshman girls' dorm. Lots of buys. (Think about it).

How did I win Dominion? I Hoard my way to the top.
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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #32 on: March 20, 2014, 09:00:06 am »
+11

Girl, I'm like a Cultist. You can play me again and again and again and again.
You mean "After you've played me, you can play my friend. And his friend. And HIS friend."
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SanChristo

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #33 on: March 20, 2014, 09:32:42 am »
0

Girl, I'm like a Cultist. You can play me again and again and again and again.
You mean "After you've played me, you can play my friend. And his friend. And HIS friend."

You're right! Far funnier and truer to the game.
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #34 on: March 25, 2014, 04:32:19 pm »
0

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Scout.

Edge Case: Swindler is on the board and she needs the Scout as fodder for it
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(I did not create the Trogdor the Burninator song nor am I associated with its producers in any way.  I just think it sounds cool. :P)

mail-mi

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #35 on: March 25, 2014, 11:46:00 pm »
+3

I'm going for Duke-Duchy. You wanna be my duchess?

And, tribute SirClemens from the memes thread:

Why is the 7th expansion called Dark Ages?

Because it has so many Knights!
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Minotaur

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #36 on: November 24, 2014, 02:01:04 am »
+2

Damn girl, I wanna Warehouse your Tunnels so bad...
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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #37 on: November 24, 2014, 10:16:24 pm »
+17

Trying to bring some female flair into this, let's see...

With a duchy like yours you can have this duchess for free any day. *wink wink*
I can give you everything and make you a madman.
If you let me be your princess, I'll give you more bang for your buck.
Call me Dame Anna. With me you keep only the good stuff.
Let me into your king's court and I'll give you all the action.

(I tried to come up with more but I don't think there's any topping that first one.)
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Sure it's just a game. The same way that your best friend in the whole world is "just a friend".

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Kirian

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #38 on: December 01, 2014, 03:06:32 pm »
+1

Trying to bring some female flair into this, let's see...

With a duchy like yours you can have this duchess for free any day. *wink wink*
I can give you everything and make you a madman.
If you let me be your princess, I'll give you more bang for your buck.
Call me Dame Anna. With me you keep only the good stuff.
Let me into your king's court and I'll give you all the action.

(I tried to come up with more but I don't think there's any topping that first one.)

Those were surprisingly good, given that pickup lines are notoriously awful.  It does bring up the question of whether ladies ever actually need pickup lines, though.
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werothegreat

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #39 on: December 01, 2014, 03:16:00 pm »
+1

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.
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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2014, 03:17:17 pm »
+5

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.
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werothegreat

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2014, 03:19:25 pm »
+1

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?
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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2014, 03:38:47 pm »
+8

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?
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werothegreat

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2014, 03:49:23 pm »
+1

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!
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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2014, 03:56:03 pm »
0

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

Cool! What was the top card of your deck?
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silverspawn

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #45 on: December 01, 2014, 04:11:28 pm »
0

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

Awaclus

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #46 on: December 01, 2014, 04:13:41 pm »
0

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

And the Journeyman and Doctor ones were somehow better?
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silverspawn

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #47 on: December 01, 2014, 04:15:39 pm »
+3

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

And the Journeyman and Doctor ones were somehow better?

well at least they didn't imply that the girl you're trying to pick up is junk

Witherweaver

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #48 on: December 01, 2014, 04:17:22 pm »
+3

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

And the Journeyman and Doctor ones were somehow better?

well at least they didn't imply that the girl you're trying to pick up is junk

It's funny because women are a curse!
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Hugovj

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #49 on: December 01, 2014, 04:31:27 pm »
0

If you come and join me in the embassy, I'll give you a silver...
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