Dominion Strategy Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7  All

Author Topic: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines  (Read 22326 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

SirPeebles

  • Cartographer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3247
  • Respect: +5435
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2014, 04:02:45 pm »
+1

Public service announcement.

This one deserves to be reposted because it's that good:

Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

(from Jorbles, or apparently his girlfriend, who apparently must be cool)

My favorite is still Captain Frisk's original.  Possibly because it was so unexpected.
Logged
Well you *do* need a signature...

Witherweaver

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Online Online
  • Posts: 6392
  • Shuffle iT Username: Witherweaver
  • Respect: +7674
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #26 on: March 14, 2014, 04:04:23 pm »
0

Public service announcement.

This one deserves to be reposted because it's that good:

Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

(from Jorbles, or apparently his girlfriend, who apparently must be cool)

My favorite is still Captain Frisk's original.  Possibly because it was so unexpected.

He was ahead of his time.
Logged

markusin

  • Cartographer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3275
  • Shuffle iT Username: markusin
  • I also switched from Starcraft
  • Respect: +1880
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #27 on: March 14, 2014, 04:23:01 pm »
+3

You're all the treasure I need, honey.
With you in my bank, I can afford a Colony.
Logged

Trogdor the Burninator

  • Young Witch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 147
  • Shuffle iT Username: J
  • Respect: +50
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #28 on: March 14, 2014, 07:37:02 pm »
+3



Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

Yo mamma is so fat, that if she played a Tournament it'd take ALL the provinces in her deck to win it.
Yo mamma is so fat, that even a Minion couldn't discard her hand.
Logged
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHF_bIjIPAE

(I did not create the Trogdor the Burninator song nor am I associated with its producers in any way.  I just think it sounds cool. :P)

DG

  • Cartographer
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Posts: 3891
  • Respect: +2409
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2014, 08:21:42 pm »
+5

If you count on me Duchess, our relationship will develop until we have a procession to the altar at the village chapel.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2014, 09:49:03 am by DG »
Logged

michaeljb

  • Saboteur
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1364
  • Shuffle iT Username: michaeljb
  • Respect: +1963
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #30 on: March 17, 2014, 03:50:59 pm »
+17

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Scout.
Logged

SanChristo

  • Herbalist
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
  • Respect: +14
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #31 on: March 20, 2014, 08:56:20 am »
+12

Pick-up lines
Hey baby, come with me. I can Upgrade your Great Hall to a Garden... nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Mountebank? Sure, I'll mount a bank.

Baby, you must be a Marauder. After we play, you're Spoiled, and I'm Ruined.

Sweet thing, I'm like Rats. I like to multiply.

Girl, I'm like a Cultist. You can play me again and again and again and again.

Lady, I'm like Sir Martin. Not as cool as the rest. But cheaper.

Puns

Squire, you're like a freshman girls' dorm. Lots of buys. (Think about it).

How did I win Dominion? I Hoard my way to the top.
Logged

Awaclus

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9920
  • Shuffle iT Username: Awaclus
  • (。 ω 。`)
  • Respect: +9969
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #32 on: March 20, 2014, 09:00:06 am »
+11

Girl, I'm like a Cultist. You can play me again and again and again and again.
You mean "After you've played me, you can play my friend. And his friend. And HIS friend."
Logged
Bomb, Cannon, and many of the Gunpowder cards can strongly effect gameplay, particularly in a destructive way

The Twitch channel where I stream DominionThe YouTube channel where I make musicDownload my band's new 2017 album for free

SanChristo

  • Herbalist
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
  • Respect: +14
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #33 on: March 20, 2014, 09:32:42 am »
0

Girl, I'm like a Cultist. You can play me again and again and again and again.
You mean "After you've played me, you can play my friend. And his friend. And HIS friend."

You're right! Far funnier and truer to the game.
Logged

Trogdor the Burninator

  • Young Witch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 147
  • Shuffle iT Username: J
  • Respect: +50
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #34 on: March 25, 2014, 04:32:19 pm »
0

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Scout.

Edge Case: Swindler is on the board and she needs the Scout as fodder for it
Logged
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHF_bIjIPAE

(I did not create the Trogdor the Burninator song nor am I associated with its producers in any way.  I just think it sounds cool. :P)

mail-mi

  • Saboteur
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1066
  • Come play some Forum Mafia with us!
  • Respect: +1120
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #35 on: March 25, 2014, 11:46:00 pm »
+3

I'm going for Duke-Duchy. You wanna be my duchess?

And, tribute SirClemens from the memes thread:

Why is the 7th expansion called Dark Ages?

Because it has so many Knights!
Logged
I currently imagine mail-mi wearing a dark trenchcoat and a bowler hat, hunched over a bit, toothpick in his mouth, holding a gun in his pocket.  One bead of sweat trickling down his nose.

"Behold, your sins are forgiven you; you are clean before me; therefore, lift up your heads and rejoice." - Doctrine and Covenants 110:5

Minotaur

  • Torturer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1688
  • Respect: +2757
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #36 on: November 24, 2014, 02:01:04 am »
+2

Damn girl, I wanna Warehouse your Tunnels so bad...
Logged
Storyteller/Crown is Donald's Vietnam Watergate.  Alchemy is Donald's Vietnam.  Scout is the time Donald choked on a pretzel.

Elanchana

  • Minion
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 697
  • Princess of Derpminion
  • Respect: +1005
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #37 on: November 24, 2014, 10:16:24 pm »
+17

Trying to bring some female flair into this, let's see...

With a duchy like yours you can have this duchess for free any day. *wink wink*
I can give you everything and make you a madman.
If you let me be your princess, I'll give you more bang for your buck.
Call me Dame Anna. With me you keep only the good stuff.
Let me into your king's court and I'll give you all the action.

(I tried to come up with more but I don't think there's any topping that first one.)
Logged
Sure it's just a game. The same way that your best friend in the whole world is "just a friend".

TwitchYouTubeMusic

!!CHANGED MY USERNAME ON 2.0!!

Kirian

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6941
  • Shuffle iT Username: Kirian
  • An Unbalanced Equation
  • Respect: +9013
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #38 on: December 01, 2014, 03:06:32 pm »
+1

Trying to bring some female flair into this, let's see...

With a duchy like yours you can have this duchess for free any day. *wink wink*
I can give you everything and make you a madman.
If you let me be your princess, I'll give you more bang for your buck.
Call me Dame Anna. With me you keep only the good stuff.
Let me into your king's court and I'll give you all the action.

(I tried to come up with more but I don't think there's any topping that first one.)

Those were surprisingly good, given that pickup lines are notoriously awful.  It does bring up the question of whether ladies ever actually need pickup lines, though.
Logged
Kirian's Law of f.DS jokes:  Any sufficiently unexplained joke is indistinguishable from serious conversation.

werothegreat

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7836
  • Shuffle iT Username: werothegreat
  • Prepare to be boarded!
  • Respect: +8877
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #39 on: December 01, 2014, 03:16:00 pm »
+1

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.
Logged
Contrary to popular belief, I do not run the wiki all on my own.  There are plenty of other people who are actively editing.  Go bother them!

Check out this fantasy epic adventure novel I wrote, the Broken Globe!  http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Globe-Tyr-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B00LR1SZAS/

Awaclus

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9920
  • Shuffle iT Username: Awaclus
  • (。 ω 。`)
  • Respect: +9969
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2014, 03:17:17 pm »
+5

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.
Logged
Bomb, Cannon, and many of the Gunpowder cards can strongly effect gameplay, particularly in a destructive way

The Twitch channel where I stream DominionThe YouTube channel where I make musicDownload my band's new 2017 album for free

werothegreat

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7836
  • Shuffle iT Username: werothegreat
  • Prepare to be boarded!
  • Respect: +8877
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2014, 03:19:25 pm »
+1

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?
Logged
Contrary to popular belief, I do not run the wiki all on my own.  There are plenty of other people who are actively editing.  Go bother them!

Check out this fantasy epic adventure novel I wrote, the Broken Globe!  http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Globe-Tyr-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B00LR1SZAS/

Awaclus

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9920
  • Shuffle iT Username: Awaclus
  • (。 ω 。`)
  • Respect: +9969
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2014, 03:38:47 pm »
+7

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?
Logged
Bomb, Cannon, and many of the Gunpowder cards can strongly effect gameplay, particularly in a destructive way

The Twitch channel where I stream DominionThe YouTube channel where I make musicDownload my band's new 2017 album for free

werothegreat

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7836
  • Shuffle iT Username: werothegreat
  • Prepare to be boarded!
  • Respect: +8877
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2014, 03:49:23 pm »
+1

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!
Logged
Contrary to popular belief, I do not run the wiki all on my own.  There are plenty of other people who are actively editing.  Go bother them!

Check out this fantasy epic adventure novel I wrote, the Broken Globe!  http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Globe-Tyr-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B00LR1SZAS/

Awaclus

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9920
  • Shuffle iT Username: Awaclus
  • (。 ω 。`)
  • Respect: +9969
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2014, 03:56:03 pm »
0

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

Cool! What was the top card of your deck?
Logged
Bomb, Cannon, and many of the Gunpowder cards can strongly effect gameplay, particularly in a destructive way

The Twitch channel where I stream DominionThe YouTube channel where I make musicDownload my band's new 2017 album for free

silverspawn

  • Cartographer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3950
  • Shuffle iT Username: sty.silver
  • ♦ Twilight ♦
  • Respect: +1714
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #45 on: December 01, 2014, 04:11:28 pm »
0

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

Awaclus

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9920
  • Shuffle iT Username: Awaclus
  • (。 ω 。`)
  • Respect: +9969
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #46 on: December 01, 2014, 04:13:41 pm »
0

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

And the Journeyman and Doctor ones were somehow better?
Logged
Bomb, Cannon, and many of the Gunpowder cards can strongly effect gameplay, particularly in a destructive way

The Twitch channel where I stream DominionThe YouTube channel where I make musicDownload my band's new 2017 album for free

silverspawn

  • Cartographer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3950
  • Shuffle iT Username: sty.silver
  • ♦ Twilight ♦
  • Respect: +1714
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #47 on: December 01, 2014, 04:15:39 pm »
+3

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

And the Journeyman and Doctor ones were somehow better?

well at least they didn't imply that the girl you're trying to pick up is junk

Witherweaver

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Online Online
  • Posts: 6392
  • Shuffle iT Username: Witherweaver
  • Respect: +7674
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #48 on: December 01, 2014, 04:17:22 pm »
+3

I'd name you for Rebuild, because you're perfect, baby.

I'd name you for Journeyman because I don't want to draw you dead.

I'd name you for Doctor.  Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I name you for Wishing Well. Does my wish come true?

I *would* name you for Wishing Well, but I played Vagrant, so I drew you anyway!

I don't think this one is very good  :P

And the Journeyman and Doctor ones were somehow better?

well at least they didn't imply that the girl you're trying to pick up is junk

It's funny because women are a curse!
Logged

Hugovj

  • Conspirator
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Shuffle iT Username: Hugovj
  • DFTBA
  • Respect: +160
    • View Profile
Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #49 on: December 01, 2014, 04:31:27 pm »
0

If you come and join me in the embassy, I'll give you a silver...
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7  All
 

Page created in 0.097 seconds with 20 queries.