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Author Topic: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines  (Read 30351 times)

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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #150 on: December 10, 2016, 02:51:54 pm »
+1

The Protoss ZERG love Empires.  Spawn more Overlords!

FTFY

Still waiting on the Pylon card

But there is already a Moat? card.
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jonaskoelker

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #151 on: October 28, 2017, 02:18:33 pm »
+4

Hey baby, can I put my payload in your Secret Passage?

You must want me to have lots of Silver, babe, 'cause you activate my Rocks!

Babe, man, I'm sorry I called you a slut and a bitch—you'll always be my Faithful Hound.

It's probably a bad time to ask this, after we ran into the cutpurse at the masquerade, but may I have you hand?

I call my ex-wife "Venture". She was a real Gold digger.
« Last Edit: October 28, 2017, 02:20:37 pm by jonaskoelker »
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Seprix

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #152 on: November 01, 2017, 11:20:31 pm »
+13

My wife is a Fool. When we first met, it was great, there were a lot of benefits to it. But now, she's just in the way of what I want to do. And to get any benefit out of the marriage, I always have to discard my plans. And they're not even good benefits. And then we have all these kids, these Silvers and Will-O-Wisps going around trashing everything. But the worst part is that we get into these pedantic arguments over things like grammar all of the time. Man, this entire marriage, I just feel so lost in the woods sometimes, y'know?
« Last Edit: November 01, 2017, 11:24:42 pm by Seprix »
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ConMan

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #153 on: November 04, 2017, 07:53:35 pm »
+9

What's the difference between Scooby Doo and Scheme?

One's a Great Dane, the other is a great Bane.

(I originally had it as the difference between Faithful Hound and Scheme but I'm pretty sure that's a wolfhound of some kind.)
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #154 on: November 04, 2017, 09:07:53 pm »
+3

You may have heard of Elf on a Shelf, but have you heard of...

https://imgur.com/gallery/7GGsu

How do I attach an image directly to a comment?

the combining of the photos was the best I could do with MS Paint, as I don't have photoshop on my computer  :P
« Last Edit: November 04, 2017, 09:12:03 pm by Trogdor the Burninator »
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sudgy

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #155 on: November 04, 2017, 09:29:45 pm »
+3

You may have heard of Elf on a Shelf, but have you heard of...

https://imgur.com/gallery/7GGsu

How do I attach an image directly to a comment?

the combining of the photos was the best I could do with MS Paint, as I don't have photoshop on my computer  :P

Here you go:



(Also you could use gimp)
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   Quote from: sudgy on June 31, 2011, 11:47:46 pm

Donald X.

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #156 on: November 04, 2017, 10:22:13 pm »
+9

well
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #157 on: November 04, 2017, 10:28:06 pm »
+2

It's Donald on a Ronald!!
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ackmondual

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #158 on: November 26, 2017, 04:46:14 pm »
+2

I've had 2 bad Wandering Minstrel cycles

"How bad were they?"

I had to discharge 2 Gold and a Silver one time, and 2 Gold and a Platinum the second time!
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Seprix

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #159 on: January 03, 2018, 09:57:14 am »
+4

What does a laboratory do best?

Draw to conclusions.
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King Leon

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #160 on: January 03, 2018, 04:59:23 pm »
0

If I was a Patrol, I would attract lots of Harems.
My Courtiers think Dame Josephine should get engaged with a Werewolf.
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Dingan

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #161 on: January 03, 2018, 06:18:55 pm »
+2

Quote
What does a Laboratory do best?

Draw two Conclaves

ftfy
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ackmondual

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #162 on: January 17, 2018, 01:04:55 am »
+3

The first set with "night" cards... is actually Cornucopia!

A Leprechaun, a Werewolf, a Pixie, a Fool, a Goat, a Tracker, an Exorcist, a Vampire, and Night Watchmen see a sign as they approach the Tavern.  They couldn't get in because the sign said...
No Reserve   
No Adventures
No service!           


The Protoss love Empires.  Spawn more Overlords!
Protoss also like the Intrigue of it...
Upgrade complete!  Upgrade complete!  Upgrade complete!

Zerg like Adventures and Nocturne!...
Changeling, Transmogrify, Duplicate


What do you call rats with no tokens on them?
Rats.       
Actually, it's more like Rats!       


What's the difference between Scout and Hunting Grounds?
What's Scout?
It's used to spell out that other card... Scouting Party


If you've got enough Villages, you can handle all of the Duchesses you want.  Otherwise, better to pick Harems ;)


In real life, Militia react to Moat.  In Dominion, Moat react to Militia!
« Last Edit: January 17, 2018, 03:59:13 am by ackmondual »
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Chase Adolphson

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #163 on: March 09, 2018, 01:59:02 am »
+3

Yo mamas so dumb that when she had $30 with 30 buys she bought 30 curses.
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faust

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #164 on: March 09, 2018, 03:07:07 am »
+14

Yo mamas so dumb that when she had $30 with 30 buys she bought 30 curses.
The joke is that yo mama's playing 4-player Dominion.
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Chase Adolphson

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #165 on: March 12, 2018, 08:22:54 pm »
0

What's wrong with the art on kings court?

There's no royal seal.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2018, 06:23:25 pm by Chase Adolphson »
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Chase Adolphson

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #166 on: March 15, 2018, 06:25:40 pm »
0

There is a pair of siblings but they are in different expansions. Which expansions do the siblings belong in?
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Commodore Chuckles

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #167 on: March 15, 2018, 09:37:21 pm »
0

There is a pair of siblings but they are in different expansions. Which expansions do the siblings belong in?

Duke and Duchess? Somebody here has an avatar that combines those pictures.
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Chase Adolphson

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #168 on: March 15, 2018, 09:51:39 pm »
0

There is a pair of siblings but they are in different expansions. Which expansions do the siblings belong in?

Duke and Duchess? Somebody here has an avatar that combines those pictures.


I never thought of that. What I was thinking of was princess/prince from cornucopia/promo
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LibraryAdventurer

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #169 on: March 15, 2018, 11:55:27 pm »
+3

There is a pair of siblings but they are in different expansions. Which expansions do the siblings belong in?

Duke and Duchess? Somebody here has an avatar that combines those pictures.

I never thought of that. What I was thinking of was princess/prince from cornucopia/promo

Prince is not from an expansion.

EDIT: Just realized this is the joke thread. uh... quick, self, come up with a Dominion joke...
ok, not exactly a joke, but something kinda neat at least:

Well, I just realized you can't Crown a Prince, but the Prince of Thieves can steal a Crown.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2018, 01:23:41 am by LibraryAdventurer »
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crj

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #170 on: March 16, 2018, 12:57:53 am »
+3

Duke and Duchess?
They'd be husband and wife, not brother and sister. (Well, unless something really obscure and exciting had happened with two different duchies.)
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jonaskoelker

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #171 on: March 18, 2018, 02:11:32 pm »
+2

Duke and Duchess?
They'd be husband and wife, not brother and sister.
Dominion is set in approximately medieval Europe. European nobility is not well-known for being excessively outbred...
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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #172 on: March 18, 2018, 02:53:29 pm »
+13

European nobility is not well-known for being excessively outbred...

Yeah, it's known for giving 2 and a choice between a Necropolis effect and a Smithy effect.
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Chase Adolphson

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #173 on: March 18, 2018, 05:21:47 pm »
0

European nobility is not well-known for being excessively outbred...

Yeah, it's known for giving 2 and a choice between a Necropolis effect and a Smithy effect.


Europe also has castles that give you victory points
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Chase Adolphson

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #174 on: March 18, 2018, 05:25:52 pm »
0

Why did the expert dominion player buy a scout?
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