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Author Topic: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines  (Read 22328 times)

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Trogdor the Burninator

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Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« on: March 14, 2014, 12:50:38 pm »
+1

How bout some Dominion puns and pick-up lines to supplement the rap battle thread?
Like: Why are you sending that Spy over to my King's Court? Do you wanna stir up some INTRIGUE or something? (pun)
Or: Hey girl, that workshop of yours is so fine you wanna come help my Gardens out? (really bad pick-up line)

« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 02:12:14 pm by Trogdor the Burninator »
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SCSN

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2014, 01:00:09 pm »
+22

You want to be Throned? I'm more of a Procession guy--once done I trash you and go for the Upgrade.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 01:02:01 pm by SheCantSayNo »
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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2014, 01:08:46 pm »
+21

I reveal a Province. Can I gain you now, Princess?
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DG

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2014, 01:14:04 pm »
+4

I'm scouting for a harem. Want me to put you into hand?

(warning, this writer line holds no responsibility for any injuries incurred when using this line).
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BadAssMutha

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2014, 01:39:38 pm »
+24

You're such a fine Duchess I'd pick you up even without buying Duchy.

Do you want to play Doctor? Show me your top three cards, baby...

Hey, you look like you enjoy getting pinned by Goons-Masquerade!

Want to collide terminals?

You're built like a Fortress - you get bought, played with, and trashed, but keep coming back for more.

Was your daddy a Candlestick Maker? Cause he sure made a Masterpiece!
« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 01:54:48 pm by BadAssMutha »
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2014, 01:56:26 pm »
+1

Hey girl, wanna date? Cause I'm looking for an Upgrade

Girl, are you a Ghost Ship? Cause I'm seeing the same thing over and over again: GOLD!

« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 02:01:17 pm by Trogdor the Burninator »
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(I did not create the Trogdor the Burninator song nor am I associated with its producers in any way.  I just think it sounds cool. :P)

Awaclus

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2014, 02:02:32 pm »
+7

I'm not a Mountebank, but I could totally trigger your Secret Chamber.
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Kirian

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2014, 02:02:36 pm »
+27

You want to be Throned? I'm more of a Procession guy--once done I trash you and go for the Upgrade.

I... I have no idea what to say to this.  Other than, I suppose, stay the hell away from my daughters.
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SCSN

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2014, 02:07:20 pm »
+3

You know what they always say about coyly masquerading girls... they're begging to be possesed.
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SCSN

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2014, 02:08:08 pm »
+6

You want to be Throned? I'm more of a Procession guy--once done I trash you and go for the Upgrade.

I... I have no idea what to say to this.  Other than, I suppose, stay the hell away from my daughters.

Tell that to the Bishop!
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2014, 02:10:16 pm »
+5

Here's some yo mamma jokes (Should I just put this on a separate topic? Or open this thread to jokes in general?)

DISCLAIMER: No offense is meant to anyone by these; I'm just trying to come up with more Dominion-themed humor
Yo mamma is so ugly that I'd trash her for $3 any day
Yo mamma is so stupid that she couldn't win a game of Dominion even after getting all 10 Minions
Yo mamma is so fat that she only started playing Dominion because she'd heard that there'd be a Feast
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be willing to trade her for a Silver
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be calling the Doctor to get her out of my deck any ol' time.

(Sorry this is kind of unrelated)
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eHalcyon

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2014, 02:11:29 pm »
+7

I know it's against the rules, but I want to play Expand on your Tunnel.
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LastFootnote

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2014, 02:17:41 pm »
+24

You want to be Throned? I'm more of a Procession guy--once done I trash you and go for the Upgrade.

I... I have no idea what to say to this.  Other than, I suppose, stay the hell away from my daughters.

Dude, if a guy goes by the moniker "She Can't Say No", that should already be sending up red flags.
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SCSN

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2014, 02:26:19 pm »
+1

Imagine how awesome that would be, a boy who already at age 3 rushes past his grandpa's Big Ol' Money!
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SCSN

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2014, 02:28:33 pm »
+3

See, my silly Peddler, that's what you get for apprenticing around without protection.
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Robz888

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2014, 02:34:34 pm »
+1

Rebuild: Baby, let me name Province and shuffle your deck all night long.
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Awaclus

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2014, 02:35:09 pm »
+13

Here's some yo mamma jokes (Should I just put this on a separate topic? Or open this thread to jokes in general?)

DISCLAIMER: No offense is meant to anyone by these; I'm just trying to come up with more Dominion-themed humor
Yo mamma is so ugly that I'd trash her for $3 any day
Yo mamma is so stupid that she couldn't win a game of Dominion even after getting all 10 Minions
Yo mamma is so fat that she only started playing Dominion because she'd heard that there'd be a Feast
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be willing to trade her for a Silver
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be calling the Doctor to get her out of my deck any ol' time.

(Sorry this is kind of unrelated)
Yo mamma is so ugly that whenever I play her, my opponent topdecks a Curse.
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Robz888

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2014, 02:35:48 pm »
+2

Royal Seal: Is that a Gold on top of your deck, or are you just happy to see me?
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Beyond Awesome

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2014, 02:49:04 pm »
+2

I have a Trusty Steed. How about you join me in the back and let's make out.

You don't have to worry about getting pregnant. I always wear a Moat when playing around.

Dominion: Drive-Thru edition

Would you like a copper with that purchase?
« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 02:53:27 pm by Beyond Awesome »
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2014, 02:55:04 pm »
0

Here's some yo mamma jokes (Should I just put this on a separate topic? Or open this thread to jokes in general?)

DISCLAIMER: No offense is meant to anyone by these; I'm just trying to come up with more Dominion-themed humor
Yo mamma is so ugly that I'd trash her for $3 any day
Yo mamma is so stupid that she couldn't win a game of Dominion even after getting all 10 Minions
Yo mamma is so fat that she only started playing Dominion because she'd heard that there'd be a Feast
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be willing to trade her for a Silver
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be calling the Doctor to get her out of my deck any ol' time.

(Sorry this is kind of unrelated)
Yo mamma is so ugly that whenever I play her, my opponent topdecks a Curse.
Oh yeah? Yo mamma is so dumb that she would never use Double-Jack BM even if it's the best strategy because she still thinks that "BM" stands for Bowel-Movement
« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 02:56:14 pm by Trogdor the Burninator »
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(I did not create the Trogdor the Burninator song nor am I associated with its producers in any way.  I just think it sounds cool. :P)

SirPeebles

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2014, 03:34:48 pm »
+7

Here's some yo mamma jokes (Should I just put this on a separate topic? Or open this thread to jokes in general?)

DISCLAIMER: No offense is meant to anyone by these; I'm just trying to come up with more Dominion-themed humor
Yo mamma is so ugly that I'd trash her for $3 any day
Yo mamma is so stupid that she couldn't win a game of Dominion even after getting all 10 Minions
Yo mamma is so fat that she only started playing Dominion because she'd heard that there'd be a Feast
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be willing to trade her for a Silver
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be calling the Doctor to get her out of my deck any ol' time.

(Sorry this is kind of unrelated)
Yo mamma is so ugly that whenever I play her, my opponent topdecks a Curse.
Oh yeah? Yo mamma is so dumb that she would never use Double-Jack BM even if it's the best strategy because she still thinks that "BM" stands for Bowel-Movement

Yo mamma's so stupid she thinks Rogue is for her cheeks.
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Trogdor the Burninator

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Re: Dominion puns/pick-up lines
« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2014, 03:40:30 pm »
0

Here's some yo mamma jokes (Should I just put this on a separate topic? Or open this thread to jokes in general?)

DISCLAIMER: No offense is meant to anyone by these; I'm just trying to come up with more Dominion-themed humor
Yo mamma is so ugly that I'd trash her for $3 any day
Yo mamma is so stupid that she couldn't win a game of Dominion even after getting all 10 Minions
Yo mamma is so fat that she only started playing Dominion because she'd heard that there'd be a Feast
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be willing to trade her for a Silver
Yo mamma is so dumb that I'd be calling the Doctor to get her out of my deck any ol' time.

(Sorry this is kind of unrelated)
Yo mamma is so ugly that whenever I play her, my opponent topdecks a Curse.
Oh yeah? Yo mamma is so dumb that she would never use Double-Jack BM even if it's the best strategy because she still thinks that "BM" stands for Bowel-Movement

Yo mamma's so stupid she thinks Rogue is for her cheeks.
Yo mamma's so ugly that she makes the lady on the art for Witch look like a hot swimsuit model
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(I did not create the Trogdor the Burninator song nor am I associated with its producers in any way.  I just think it sounds cool. :P)

SirPeebles

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #22 on: March 14, 2014, 03:42:07 pm »
0

How about I Swindle your Trusty Steed into this Abandoned Mine?
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qmech

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #23 on: March 14, 2014, 03:47:24 pm »
+7

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Witherweaver

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Re: Dominion jokes/pick-up lines
« Reply #24 on: March 14, 2014, 03:57:07 pm »
+5

Public service announcement.

This one deserves to be reposted because it's that good:

Quote
Yo mama's like a Peddler, the more action she gets the cheaper she becomes.

(from Jorbles, or apparently his girlfriend, who apparently must be cool)
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