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Author Topic: Dominion Limericks!  (Read 43096 times)

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HiveMindEmulator

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Dominion Limericks!
« on: November 19, 2011, 02:38:29 pm »
+19

Inspired by this thread, I decided to create my own poetry thread! Haiku's are nice and poetic, but I'm a simple man. I like poems that rhyme. So I decided to contruct some Limericks, and I'd love to read some of yours!

Masquerade
I built up my deck in a flash:
Masquerade and tons of cash.
But when my foe played
King's Court/Goons/Masquerade,
it all ended up in the trash!

Torturer
It was just like militia at first,
but it got progressively worse.
Mass torturer play
makes my hands go away.
I guess I should just take the curse...

Fairgrounds
Provinces were his to collect,
but the thing that he did not expect
was that with my fairgrounds
I would also compound
20 cards from the black market deck!

Ghost Ship
A ghost ship at the side of the sea
reduces hand sizes to three,
and when played every turn
will quite often earn
a rage-quit without a gg!
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2011, 06:26:34 pm »
+2

OK, I made 3 more:

Bridge
I was up 27 to 3,
but the one who would lose would be me.
Can't believe what I saw.
He managed to draw
triple bridge and a pair of KCs!

Black Market
Cursers? the kingom had none.
But as soon as the game had begun,
in the market of black
he found that witch attack.
So the curses, I took every one.

Jack-of-all-Trades
Tell me what's the point of attacks
when he can simply ignore and relax?
Trash every curse,
draw and spy first,
with nothing but money and jacks?
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tlloyd

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2011, 11:25:41 pm »
+6

Tactician
The own-hand discarding Tactican,
Is an engine in need of ignition.
Vault or ‘Chamber can spark it.
Still better: Black Market.
You’ll be drawing cards like a magician!

Ambassador
It’s a card that you cannot ignore.
If you lose the Ambassador war,
You’ll think things can’t get worse,
‘Til your foe buys a curse,
And you end with a negative score.

« Last Edit: November 21, 2011, 01:30:59 pm by tlloyd »
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2011, 03:16:33 am »
+2

Goons
Goons are no subject for jokin'
My friend and I still haven't spoken
since the time I was rude
and in one game acrued
200 victory tokens.

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"

Sea Hag
I used my sea hag attack
to put curses on top of his stack.
But they never stayed.
For with his masquerade,
he passed all the curses right back.

City
My deck build-up took quite a while,
but I plan on winning in style
with level 3 cities.
But oh what a pity!
The game has just ended on piles!

Warehouse
It just didn't work out as planned
When mass warehouses I spammed.
I drew and I drew,
but when I was through,
I had to discard my whole hand!

Mint
I drew 5 coppers all at one time.
I thought I mint buy was in line.
Then they’d all be gone,
but boy was I wrong,
as that “mint” turned out to be “mine”!
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tlloyd

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2011, 04:09:46 am »
+1

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"

I note a general tone of frustration in your limericks--if only all of us could vent our Dominion rage in such an artistic fashion! And I bet I can guess how your limerick for Witch would go...   ;)
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tlloyd

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2011, 04:19:36 am »
+3

Pawn
My opponent's quite-flexible Pawn
Costs me minutes each time it is drawn.
For he just can't decide:
Card, coin, action or buy?
Wake me when he's made up his mind. Yawn!

Scout
I had such great plans for my Scout.
Thought I'd root all my vic'try cards out.
It turned out not to be
Such a great strategy:
All I got was a vic'try card drought.

Possession
It's time that I made a confession:
I can't stand the effects of Possession.
To leach off my success
And make his deck a mess
Becomes my opponent's obsession.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2011, 04:32:30 am by tlloyd »
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Anon79

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2011, 08:52:19 pm »
0

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"
Gotta wonder, was this a real game? (I recognised the Mine/Mint one.) 'Cos to get 39 coin, means that likely there were 2 silver with the 7 coppers...
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2011, 01:46:25 am »
+1

I note a general tone of frustration in your limericks--if only all of us could vent our Dominion rage in such an artistic fashion! And I bet I can guess how your limerick for Witch would go...   ;)
Haha. Thanks :). I just think the frustration tone lends itself well to comedy, since we've all experienced situations like these.

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"
Gotta wonder, was this a real game? (I recognised the Mine/Mint one.) 'Cos to get 39 coin, means that likely there were 2 silver with the 7 coppers...
Haha, no, I think it's a bit over-dramaticized, but 39 instead of 35 gives that sense of realism :)

And just to add a couple more:

City
My deck buildup took quite a while,
but I plan to win mega-turn style
with level 3 cities.
But oh what a pity!
The game has just ended on piles!

Swindler
With 5/2 I though I was lucky.
But soon I would feel pretty sucky,
when my turn 1 witch
was on turn 3 switched
by a swindler into a duchy!
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Davio

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2011, 04:08:19 am »
+1

Smithy
A faithful servant of metal and fire
His blackened hands will never tire
He gives me three
And does it for free
When the times are most dire
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rspeer

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2011, 04:47:04 am »
+11

When making up limericks, man
You've got to have some kind of plan
Or else you may find
You have a last line
That doesn't scan
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jimjam

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2011, 06:07:24 am »
+2

Lookout
A counter to opening sea hag
I reduced curses to slag
It was quite slick
A couple of clicks
I had the game in the bag

I was so eager just to trash
It proved, finally, quite rash
I had to wince
All three: "Province"
And one went away in a flash
« Last Edit: November 21, 2011, 06:12:33 am by jimjam »
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Geronimoo

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2011, 06:27:21 am »
+2

Familiar
Ik zag een vreemd wezen uit Ende
't was raar, geen Oude Bekende
Familiar, heet ik
zei het met een snik
Vertalingen zijn soms zwaar ellende

I couldn't do it in English, because it's about the horrible translation of the Familiar in Dutch.
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2011, 02:38:40 pm »
+3

Fool's Gold
This 2 dollar treasure looks cool.
The though of 4 coin makes you drool.
But it's really no fun
if you only draw one.
That's why its the gold of the fool!

Noble Brigand
With 2 coppers in the first hand,
for 5 on turn 2 I had planned.
But what did I see?
I only had 3
for he bought a noble brigand!

Duke
I noticed his plan much too late.
Of the duchies, he got 6 of 8.
Though Dukes split 4/4
his gained province score,
while mine were just double estates.

Expand
With expand I have been told
that for provinces 5s can be sold.
But with every expand
I draw 5 cash in hand.
I should have just purchased a gold!
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Axxle

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2011, 09:12:05 pm »
0

Remodel
I decided to Turbo Remodel
For it was a tactic I coddle
I 'modeled away
But to my dismay
It was more of a Remodel Toddle
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jotheonah

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2011, 12:36:33 am »
+2

Alchemist

Should on your board alchemist pop,
Buy them all fast and don't stop.
Did your foe miss the split?
Then they'll prob'ly rage quit
As you slowly put each back on top.

Vault

If Vault is in play, some advice
I know Council Room looks real nice
But you'll certainly wince
When I buy a Province
Every time you play Council Room twice

This is a fun game.
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2011, 03:19:23 pm »
+2

Tunnel
Minion was my choice of action,
but did not work to my satisfaction.
My attacks every turn
allowed him to earn
mass gold with the tunnel reaction.

Mountebank
With each play of his Mountebank,
I feel that I ought to say "thanks,"
Although it seems funny,
he's giving me money
and fueling my counting house/bank!

Counting House
It's clear to me that I am cursed.
My shuffle luck must be the worst.
As I shuffle my deck,
I can always expect
my counting house to be drawn first!
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jotheonah

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2011, 03:44:57 pm »
+2

Amen to that last one!

Gardens

On a Kingdom with lots of plus buyin'
I made every last Copper my-in.
Crammed every last card in
To feed hungry Gardens
But ended with just fifty-ny-in.
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Jorbles

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2011, 07:48:03 pm »
+1

I love that these all have little lessons in them.
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2011, 02:14:55 pm »
+3

Apprentice
With apprentice I'm sometimes too rash.
To keep drawing, I trash and I trash.
Gold for 6! Silver, 3!
Province, 8! Look at me!
Oops! I'm all out of cash...

Crossroads
This crossroads card is just great!
I draw 4, and then 6, and then 8!
With drawing aplenty,
I've drawn up to 20!
Too bad all my cards are estates...

Duchess
Duchess is spy the wrong way.
It treats foes as friends when you play.
But that really sucks.
It’s not worth the 2 bucks.
They have to just give them away!
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jotheonah

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2011, 07:29:02 pm »
0

I wonder if a limerick for every card is too lofty a goal?
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HiveMindEmulator

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2011, 03:31:21 am »
0

^I think so. We have like 30, but it's easier to do these first few than the next 100+. At some point, you run out of rhymes. Looking back, in just 20 limericks, there are a lot of rhymes I reused (cash/trash, first/worst/curse, play/away, turn/earn, planned/hand, eight/estate). There are only so many words you can use to describe dominion!
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jotheonah

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2011, 11:16:38 am »
0

True. And literally the moment it stops being fun you stop doing it.

Although I've already resorted to slant rhyme in my Gardens one, so that should expand the options a little.
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tlloyd

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #22 on: November 26, 2011, 02:28:15 am »
0

What we need to keep this going are challenges! I challenge someone to write the limerick for Scrying Pool.
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rspeer

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #23 on: November 26, 2011, 03:47:30 am »
+3

It seems like when I buy the Scrying Pool
It turns into an overpriced spying tool.
But when I ignore it,
My rival goes for it
And spams it until I'm a crying fool.
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jotheonah

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Re: Dominion Limericks!
« Reply #24 on: November 26, 2011, 10:40:11 am »
0

Terrific idea (and terrific answer!) I propose that when someone answers a limerick challenge, they offer a new challenge. Who wants to have a go at Embargo?
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