Well, it's not easy for us Border Patrol Agents here in the Watchtower.
You wouldn't believe the crazy things people try to sneak into the country. Just the other day, there was this guy, pretty obviously a thief, who claimed he'd "found" a valuable cache, with lots of gold and copper, in the neighboring kingdom. Well, I told him he could keep the gold, but we had to impound the copper. Potentially infested with the Western Copper Aphid, a dangerous species don't you know. Well he tried to argue, but we just told him to dispose of it in the conveniently located trash receptacle. Ditto with those goons the other day, with a huge load of copper that they'd just bought; I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.
There's also that crazy witch across the border, who keeps trying to ship cursed artifacts into the kingdom. I must have told her a thousand times "You're in violation of the International Convention on Magical Item Trafficking," but she won't stop.
And don't get me started about that obnoxious ambassador, seems like he's always trying to bring an entire estate with him. I tell him "I don't care what your title is, we treat everyone the same" and then secretly impound all his stuff and deny his servants visas.
Everyone entering the country has to fill out an entry form for visas. I can't count the number of would-be marauders checking off the box for Purpose of Visit: "Reducing your villages to ruins." Well, needless to say, those guys get denied visas and kicked out. We're not heartless though, they each get a packet of souvenir candy from the desk bowl. They may be spoilt though, we haven't cleaned it out since Halloween.
Of course, it's not all about preventing people from smuggling things into the country. Occasionally we receive priority shipments that HQ tells us to send strait to the King's Inbox. And we do.
So I hope, next time you invest some copper with your local spice merchant, you remember the brave men and women here at the Watchtower. We're keeping your coppers free of aphids and your villages unruined.
A letter From the King.
16 April 1563
My Dear Fellow Watchmen:
I must say I really approve your work there at Watchtower. Countless times you have re-directed lots of goods that my Smugglers, Thieves and Universities have produced, to my court. You can't imagine how long it used to take to get that little workshop to work before. Also, I thank you for training the squires, I sent to you, so quickly into Knights, Thieves, Spies or even Scrying pools! I don't know how you manage to do that, but keep up the good work!
However, I also have some bad news to you. Firstly, last night a thief from our rival kingdom broke in to my castle and stole my entire Harem! I can't believe you didn't even notice him. I mean, there was nothing you could do, when they also stole my Talisman last week, but the whole Harem! My miners spend whole day to build that from the old Quarry.
Secondly, I don't understand why do you refuse to work harder when I'm in a hurry. My loyal Witches, Foragers, Golems work thrice as much when I command them, even the poor Scout at least tries his best.
Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood.
. Scrying Pool is spy and if I play Noble Brigand I tell them to reveal cards just like against Thief. Of course effect is not same.
